FORT HOOD, Texas – Spc. Joshua Branum, just recently back from his second long tour in Iraq, was at the Killeen courthouse taking care of a minor traffic issue when he heard of shootings and death at Fort Hood.

Three months back, and now it was his wife and one-year-old daughter in harm's way.

"I went into combat mode – auto pilot," he said.

He immediately called his wife and told her to lock the doors and windows, "keep yourself and the baby down at all costs,' and then I started on my way."

For almost two hours, Branum paced outside the main gate at Fort Hood in his desert fatigues as he and more than dozen active military awaited to post to lift a lock-down so they could see their loved ones. Phone lines were jammed, and some were having trouble getting through.

He said he wanted to patrol the perimeter in his truck, to feel he could help in some way.

Public infomation specialist Steve Moore said the mood inside the post is grim.

"We are all deeply moved and sorrowful," Moore said. "Keep families and those involved in your prayers."

"In a situation like this, any soldier feels that I should have been there. Maybe there wouldn't have been so many dead, maybe there wouldn't have been so many wounded," Branum said.

He said he was angered to hear that it appeared to be soldiers who fired at colleagues.

Having defused bombs and cleared roadways during his first two-year tour in Iraq, Branum said he knows all about post traumatic stress disorder and has suffered from it the past two years.

"If they blame this on PTSD, I'll lose my faith," Branum said. "PTSD does not cause you to organize and carry out a shooting."