Some studies show as many as one in four children is bullied or harassed at school. A Pflugerville family says their 10-year-old daughter is one of them and they wanted to share their experience in hopes that it might help other children.

We’ve decided not to share their last name or their daughter’s name to protect her.

“What was said was certainly shocking to us,” said Bryan, the girl’s father. “He was apparently saying dirty things to her and he had tried to look up her skirt several times until she finally got fed up and she had to raise her voice to tell him to leave her alone.”

"She was embarrassed, she was scared she didn't know what to do and she couldn't believe he was saying those dirty things to her,” said Diana, the girl’s mother.

The Pflugerville School System did punish the boy but because of privacy rules, it cannot tell us or the girl’s family what that punishment entailed. Then the School System put the boy back in class with Bryan and Diana’s daughter, saying the boy was no longer a threat.

“We fought from day one to get the child removed,” said Bryan. “But we were repeatedly told that's not an option that we had to remove our daughter from the class or remove her from the school completely where all of her friends and all of her support structure is.”

Bryan and Diana felt that was punishing their daughter and they say she didn’t do anything wrong. So they chose to leave her in that class. But they say their daughter is still the one suffering.

“It's not the same,” said Bryan. “We've regularly struggled with getting her to go to school now and her grades have noticeably dropped.”

School System Responds

”It's a tough job to make a decision on what is the most appropriate consequence for a discipline situation," said Keith McBurnett, Deputy Superintendent for Pflugerville Independent School District. “Each time an administrator deals with a student they have access to that student's discipline record and history and that is always taken into account.”

So we asked if McBurnett felt like the School Systems policy punishes the victim?

”Not at all,” said McBurnett. “Because again our policy is set up in a way that says, ‘We don't tolerate any type of misbehavior in a classroom, especially behavior that can be construed as harassing or bullying in nature.’”

Elementary, middle and high school students rate harassment and bullying as the most important issue they face. And some experts say those cases are seriously under-reported.

When you ask how many harassment or bullying cases a school district has, this is what you’ll hear.

“We don't have specific numbers on harassment incidents or bullying incidents," said McBurnett.

The truth is no school system in Texas can tell you. The state requires schools to report the number of discipline cases they have each year, but does not require schools to break out the number of cases of harassment or bullying.

“I would like greater accountability,” said Bryan. “Our concern is how many other children are not speaking up? How many other incidents are either discouraged or not even reported?”

Bryan and Diana say after seeing what happened to their daughter, all parents should talk to their kids about what’s acceptable behavior.

“I think sexual harassment doesn't define an age. If it makes you uncomfortable it doesn't matter how old you are, it is sexual harassment and our daughter was the victim of sexual harassment,” said Diana.

"If an inappropriate behavior has taken place in a classroom and they feel like it was towards them or anything they feel uncomfortable about we would encourage a child to report it to a teacher, tell a counselor, tell an administrator, tell someone," said McBurnett.

Free help for Texas Schools

The Texas School Safety Center in San Marcos provides free training for schools across Texas.

A handful of Austin schools are also testing out a new program where kids can report bullying and harassment anonymously. Program administrators say the Ancomm method works because kids can e-mail or text administrators eliminating the fear of retribution.

Help for Parents

Most school systems across the state of Texas use the Texas Association of School Boards recommendations for dealing with bullying. Below are a few more specific school system policies:

•Austin ISD has a form parents and students can fill out to report harassment. You can read more about the Austin ISD Policy online here.

•Here is the Leander ISD Policy.

•Read more about the Eanes ISD Policy here.

The Texas Association of School Boards has put together this helpful list of tips to address bullying on campus.

Warning signs your child is being bullied

The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services put together this really helpful list of signs a child is being bullied:

•Comes home with torn, damaged, or missing pieces of clothing, books, or other belongings;

•Has unexplained cuts, bruises, and scratches;

•Has few, if any friends, with whom he or she spends time;

•Seems afraid of going to school, walking to and from school, riding the school bus, or taking part in organized activities with peers (such as clubs);

•Takes a long, “illogical” route when walking to or from school; • Has lost interest in school work or suddenly begins to do poorly in school;

•Appears sad, moody, teary, or depressed when he or she comes home;

•Complains frequently of headaches, stomachaches, or other physical ailments;

•Has trouble sleeping or has frequent bad dreams;

•Experiences a loss of appetite; or

•Appears anxious and suffers from low self-esteem.

What to do if your child is being bullied

The Department of Health and Human Services recommends parents first talk with their child, then talk with their school leaders. Here are some ways to help direct you in that conversation:

•Talking with your child. Tell your child that you are concerned and that you’d like to help. Here are some questions that can get the discussion going:

•“I’m worried about you. Are there any kids at school who may be picking on you or bullying you?”

•“Are there any kids at school who tease you in a mean way?”

•“Are there any kids at school who leave you out or exclude you on purpose?”

Some subtle questions:

•“Do you have any special friends at school this year? Who are they? Who do you hang out with?”

•“Who do you sit with at lunch and on the bus?”

•“Are there any kids at school who you really don’t like? Why don’t you like them? Do they ever pick on you or leave you out of things?”

More helpful resources

• Stop bullying

• Bullying prevention program

• Texas Association of School Boards harassment and bullying policy standards .

• U.S. Department of Education Guide for schools to protect students from harassment and hate crimes.

•New program to get kids to report incidents anonymously